I have a confession: I'm fat. And its my fault.
I've confessed this to myself and my friends many times before. But this is one of the first times I'm confessing it to the entire internet population.
I'm 27 years old, and I'm at the heaviest I've ever been (no, I'm not going to tell you how much a weigh....this isn't a full disclosure thing!). Well....ok, maybe I'll share my weight. Later. I have been letting myself go for the last 5 years, and now my wasist-line, knees, back, and feet are paying for it. Why have I let myself go, you may ask? After giving the problem a lot of thought, I finally came up with my answer: I'm stuck in my pre-kids mindset.
You see, before I had my three beautiful girls, I was a curvy size 8 (and I thought I was fat then! I laugh about that now). Before, I could eat pretty much what I wanted, with moderate exercise, and maintain my weight (with that pesky 5-6 pound fluctuation we all hate).
Things change after you have children.
Lord, how things change!
First, your fat cells rearrange themselves. I still gain weight in one place that I always have before, but I also gain weight in places I didn't have to worry about for 21 years....its hard to re-vamp 21 years worth of eating habits in 5 years! Second, you have to be more active than you were before to stave off the fat....don't ask me, I don't know why.
So.
A year or two ago, there was a free week long trial for Weight Watchers that I tried. I loved the flexibility and accountability. One thing I hate about diets is that diets eliminate foods- sometimes they elimate entire food groups.
Well, you know what happens the moment you can't have something: You want it. Even if you didn't want it before. Cutting dairy? Suddenly you're craving a huge bowl of ice cream. Elimating carbs? Now you can't stop daydreaming about bread. Even if these were foods you hardly ever ate or craved, suddenly they're front and center in all your fantasies, tasting and smelling better than they ever have before.
Sound familiar?
So you go into this diet, already knowing the challenges that await you...late night cravings, calorie counting, obsessively exercising. And, a few weeks or a few months into it, you give up....either because you've gotten tired of dieting, or you're slipping up so often that its not having much effect. Its a cycle, and its vicious.
I've gotten a bit off track here....wait, what I talking about? Oh yeah, Weight Watchers.
WW is great, because I get to eat things I never thought I could, because its not a diet! Its a lifestyle change...teaching you to eat in smaller portions and be more mindful of what you put into your mouth. I was only on it for 2 months, but I saw weight loss within the first week.
So, after gaining and gaining and gaining allllllll this year, I've had enough. What was my breaking point?
A double chin. Ack!
After staring and crying in the bathroom for 30 minutes, I made my resolve. No more. I've had enough. Little Debbie must die.
So, WW, here I come (again)!
